Fat girl running (Melissa)

So when the twins turned 6 months, I decided I was going to run a half marathon come November 2011. I figured it was a good way to get me motivated to lose weight and be healthy by their 1st birthday. I got new running shoes, focused on WW, and yeah that only lasted 3 weeks. Then I came down with a sinus infection, or rather came down with a case of the excuses. I did get sick and my nose was so stuffed I couldn't breathe so the running was put off for a couple days, then it became a couple weeks, etc. I am mad at myself because I had gotten back up to running 1 mile straight. I need to get back out there and let the world see my butt jiggle as I shuffle along the street. Yes, I am aware of that and finally don't care. Let the world see my body jiggle, and hopefully it will start to jiggle less! Maybe it will barely jiggle for the half marathon, which I will complete. There is no if about it!

To jump start my weight loss, I have ditched WW. Sorry WW, yes I know you are about a lifestyle change, but I need something a little quicker and easier. I have decided to sort of create my own diet. Will this work? Who knows, but we'll see! My inspiration is from a friend who just had gastric bypass. She had to do a liquid diet for 3 weeks before her surgery and by a week after her surgery she had lost 30 lbs. Am I jealous? Extremely! Would I ever consider gastric bypass? No because I know I CAN lose weight and am not comfortable with permanently altering my body. I figure if she can survive on liquids for weeks, then so can I.

However, since I do not need to get my body ready for surgery I've altered it slightly. I am allowing myself to eat unlimited amounts of fruits and veggies (no dips though), milk, greek yogurt, egg whites, sugar free ice pops, water, iced/hot coffee, and the Carnation Instant Breakfast. Since I know myself and know I cannot survive on this 24-7, I am allowing myself one day a week to eat whatever I want. I figure this way if I have an event or somewhere to go I can eat whatever is around. I am hoping once I start seeing some weight loss I'll be motivated to always make good choices.

I am on day 2 and so far so good. I did have 2 munchkins from Dunkin' Donuts yesterday, but today I have been spot on. I have already planned to get take out for dinner on Saturday night because I am sort of thinking that Saturdays will be my cheat day. I have my annual physical on the 13th and will see what I weigh in at.

I also plan on discussing my frustrations and goals with my doctor. I am definitely becoming depressed about my weight. I hate looking in the mirror. I hate all my clothes, and yes, I have worn a couple pairs of my maternity capris this summer already. I hate feeling so hot and sweaty all the time, always pulling at my clothes, and just wanting to hide in the background. I can't hide because my outgoing, loud, often opinionated personality just doesn't allow it. Ugh... at least I have Amanda, Megan, and Sarah joining me on this journey. I know we'll all be successful and feel comfort in sharing our struggles and achievements.