So today we went to the beach. Yes I dread this every year. I hate being in a bathing suit. None of my old bathing suits fit so I wore my maternity tankini from last summer. It was our first time taking the twins (and will be the last this summer, let me tell you!). I realized while walking around in my bathing suit that I could care less what strangers think, but immediately became self-conscious once my MIL, BIL, and SIL showed up. SIL is in shape, but I was pleased to see her wearing a one piece and it made me feel a little better as she has put on a little weight since having my nephew a year ago. I would have felt even more uncomfortable had she been wearing a bikini.
Anyway, I ended up sucking it up and just going about my business and hanging out with my kids. In the end, I figure, ya know what, I am not going to hide sitting in a beach chair and miss out playing with Abby because I don't like how I look in a bathing suit. I don't know what came over me but I was playing with her, running around, and whatnot and really didn't care.
I realized it's time for me to stop worrying about others and feeling uncomfortable in my own skin. I need to enjoy my life and this time with my children. So for now I will do my best to be confident in myself and not let it hold me back.
3 comments:
You know, I had a similar revelation the other day. I was telling Jim last night. I obviously know I look disgusting in a bathing suit (in anything, really...) but it's just too fun to go into the pool with Jane so I just do it. Then afterwards, I have to shower her and get her dressed and I can't do it with my cover-up on so I just walk around in my suit and.....I feel fine. I mean, I am a Mom, this is my reality, I can't always worry about me and my comfort.
In all honesty, how many of our friends and family are really judging us on how we look in swimsuits? Realistically, it isn't like they don't know we are overweight so what we wear isn't going to change anything. I am glad you found some peace and enjoyed yourself. :)
well said--a bathing suit is like the ultimate insecurity for almost everyone I think. I just try to have your same attitude, I am here to have fun and who cares!
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