Where I stand right now...

So I am still here... still weighing less than when this journey began. So I guess that is something to be proud of, right? Bear with me as I am going to just ramble on about all the random things I've been thinking about...

Well my exercise has fallen to the wayside. The cold weather and getting dark earlier has ended my attempt at running outside. We had to cancel our YMCA membership because $50 a month just isn't in our budget. We did finally get a treadmill, but the yard sale find was sort of a bust since it shuts off after about 12 minutes of use. So I am at a loss....

I think about my journey and desire to lose weight every day. I think about how badly I want it, how badly I deserve this, and how I NEED to do this. I can talk the talk and know what I need to do, but the motivation has to be internal. You can have fabulous cheerleaders chanting for you on the side, but the choices and decisions rest on you.

I want to exercise. I want to get back into running, I need to get back into running... I have to stop being lazy and get my ass in gear. My co-worker approached me about joining her gym... $10/month. Plus she reminded me that our insurance will give us $150 a year towards the cost of a gym.. so basically my insurance will cover the cost, so it'll be free for me! The only downside is that its farther away (about a 12 minute drive) than the Y which was 2 miles down the road. Which takes more time away from my spending time with my hubby and Abby. But, then I think about it and realize the hours I spend at the gym now will hopefully give me more years with them later in my life.

So what's my plan you may ask? I make grand plans every week, but do I follow through? No. So I need to be realistic. I will weigh in tomorrow morning (Amanda, I'll be texting you my scale pic!). I will also track my food intake. I am doing WW online and also tracking on Myfitnesspal.com. I like doing both so I can see how many calories and points I am eating. I will also go and join the gym by this weekend.

I want to continue this journey and become a role model and success story just like Amanda (you go girl!). I am trying to take it one day at a time. Today I did indulge in 2 pieces of fun size candy, and then stared at a whole tray of brownies and walked away without eating any, went through a McDonald's drive thru purchasing only a Happy Meal for Abby, and created my own low fat, low calorie chicken parm (and boy it was delish!). So I guess thats some steps in the right direction???